Fixing the broken pieces

What an eventful week! While I got to enjoy last weekend with my family and friends for our annual "Girls shopping trip", I didn't shop! I spent the weekend at the cabin studying for the dreadful Praxis Exam. I'm almost finished with my master's in special education. Although I have already participated in Kentucky Teacher Internship Program, I've never taken the Praxis. Well, the exam was today. Shortly after I got home, I received a knock at the door. It was a man delivering flowers from my best friends saying, "We're so proud of you!" Nothing else could have been more uplifting and encouraging than what they did today. They will never even realize exactly how much that meant!

Aren't they beautiful! Thanks again guys!

Now to the heart of the matter. I have put everything off to study for this exam. Housework...Homework..Schoolwork...my Social Life... So tonight, I finally started on this mess of a house!


I had loads and loads of laundry! I hadn't done any laundry since before the trip. Hadn't vacuumed, swept...nothing. So once I got started, I couldn't stop! I not only cleaned house, but started on cleaning my closets!


I realized there's more than just physical closets that need to be cleaned! It's time to get rid of things in my past that are constantly haunting me. How am I supposed to let God have control of my life if I won't give him the key? I have to give God complete control of my life, and before I can do that, I have to be able to let go. It's time to forgive and forget...time to move on.


I don't do well with change, so I am constantly repeating unhealthy, vicious cycles in my life. I keep subconsciously searching for something in my past that is going to define my future. For example, relationships. For some reason, I always end up going back to a person I'd previously dated. I guess that's been my way of thinking that maybe I could fix whatever went wrong the first time. Well clearly ladies and gentlemen, that hasn't gotten me very far! God obviously wants better for me. It's like trying to pick up the tiny broken pieces and put them back to something better than before it was broken when in all reality, it's only worse. Nothing broken can be miraculously fixed to look better than it did before! God is the only one who can take those broken pieces and mold them into something so beautiful, completely restored, and new.


So I'm officially giving all of those little broken fragments of my life over to God and saying, "Ok, Lord, fix me!" Just as it would take me forever to try to fix something, it will take time. I know that God is going to take His time putting all of those broken pieces into their perfect place so that I can be made new again. But here's the hard part.....waiting!